When your marriage has failed: the Christian Divorce
In 17 years of working with marriages, I have yet to hear an engaged couple say, “We’re going to try being married. If it doesn’t work out, we’ll get divorced.” Every engaged couple I have ever talked with believes their marriage will last a lifetime.
Most people have a picture, a dream of what their perfect marriage will be. When a marriage ends, the dream dies. And, the death of a dream is painful. So, what do you do when the dream dies? How do you deal with a Christian divorce?
It is unrealistic to think that every marriage will work. Some marriages simply do not for a variety of reasons. As believers in Christ, we all know the preference is for marriages to be a lifetime union. But the dissolution of a marriage, like every other part of life, is covered by the forgiving nature of God’s love.
According to Proverbs 14:32, “When calamity comes, the wicked are brought down, but even in death the righteous have a refuge.” Even when things seem to be at their worst, we still have a refuge in Him.
How do you get through the pain of a failed marriage?
1. Know that you are still loved by God
For I am convinced that neither death not life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height not depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8: 38-39
2. Seek help to deal with your grief, anger, sadness and feelings of loss.
Talk with your pastor, a counselor, a coach, or another trained professional.
3. Find a support group such as divorce recovery or divorce care. Great comfort can be found in talking with others who share our experiences.
4. Concentrate on taking good care of yourself. Grief affects us emotionally and physically. When we hurt, we often stop doing the basic self-care tasks like eating well, getting enough sleep, drinking enough water and exercise. Self- care is even more important during times of stress and pain.
5. Let others help you. Allow your friends and family to take care of you and nurture you. Spend time with others and allow them to show their love for you.
Experiencing a Christian divorce is painful. But, time does heal wounds. Be kind to yourself. Rest in God’s love for you. Seek professional and lay help. And, finally know that you are still a cherished child of God.