It’s amazing how some of the simplest or smallest gestures can have a profound effect on our relationships. Consider how a gentle touch on the shoulder during a conversation can conjure positive feelings of connection. Or how the lack of eye contact can cause a sense of distrust. We ‘read’ each other on many levels based most often on our actions.
That’s where this challenge comes in. Can you be intentional about making your actions count?
The 30-Day Kindergarten Marriage Challenge is based on the basic premise of Robert Fulghum’s idea that all we needed to know we learned in Kindergarten.
So much of what we learned during those critical and formative years are the backbone of healthy relationships throughout life. Consider a few of the more critical items on the list and note how well they apply to a marriage relationship:
- Share everything.
- Play fair.
- Don't hit people.
- Put things back where they belong.
- Clean up your own mess.
- Don't take things that aren't yours.
- Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
- Live a balanced life – learn, think, draw, paint, sing, dance, play and work every day.
- When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
- Say “please” and “thank you”.
Pretty basic stuff, right? But how often do you fail to simply say, “I’m sorry” when it’s warranted? How many times do you take it for granted that if you don’t put things away, your spouse will get stuck with that chore? And consider the psychological consequences of just that one example. When you leave your mess for someone else to clean up, what have you communicated? Whatever it is your spouse ‘hears’ from your messes, it can’t be good for your relationship.
The 30-Day Kindergarten Marriage Challenge is this: For the next 30 days, do one thing each day that you know without a doubt your spouse will appreciate. If it drives your spouse crazy that you leave the towel on the bathroom floor every day, hang it up instead - for 30 straight days. If your spouse likes to take a stroll after dinner every evening but you’ve resisted in the past, invite her on a stroll … every day for 30 days. Get the idea?
The key is to make your action count … FOR YOUR SPOUSE.
How about it? Are you up for the 30-Day Kindergarten Marriage Challenge?